By Inimai buhhole
Things just keep getting worse for Jenneifer Fox’s Grand experiment in student “government”.
In a political climate rife with controversy, UT Arlington’s student council has received
relatively little infamy. This, of course, is due to the fact that nobody gave a fuck about “the student voice” until recently. Gabrielle Mendez is the third student in just two weeks to accuse one, rather prolific, Student Council senator of being a genuine two-pump chump.
“Like, we went on a great date and everything,” said Mendez of Posh Zing, the senator in question. “He’s really sweet and attentive, but when we went back to his place after semi-formal it all went to shit.”
Mendez went on to describe the night she spent with the impotent senator: “He put on some Barry Manilow and urged me into the room, it was so romantic. He’s very direct in the bedroom, which I love in a guy, but he just kinda flopped on me for 20 seconds before rolling over and falling asleep. I had to listen to Copacabana on repeat all night because he never got up to turn it off.”
Esteban Ruiz, president of UTA Dogma Tai (of which Singh is a member), also had a few words to say about the bedroom prowess of the aforementioned senator. “The man has absolutely no stamina,” said Ruiz “Couldn’t even hold it when he had to fuck the chapter goat at initiation, now it just laughs at him whenever we bring it around.”
It is sad that even a no name organization like Student Council can be entrenched in such vicious controversy. It is clearly time for us to start electing senators who can actually handle the circle jerk that happens in the UC basement.
The Catch 